Mars Venus Measures Who is more on Fire

Fire Vs. Ice.

Fire Vs. Ice

As we get older we start to feel the results of ageing caused by the decrease of hormone production.  By the time men and women have reached the age of 50, we have lost at least half of their hormone production.  For so many women who have chosen to bypass hormone replacement therapy for alternative therapy; the information found in John Gray’s book Venus on Fire Mars on Ice is highly useful.   Teaches you to teach your body produce the good hormones naturally.  Men and Women have their good hormones that keep them young, vibrant and sexually active.  For men it’s “Testosterone”, for women it’s “Oxytocin.”

Now as I said before men’s testosterone level will drop as he ages but what most people don’t know is his levels will change on a daily basis.   The stresses of the job, the commute and life in general will make testosterone drop like a lead brick.  Leaving most men feeling like a grumpy old man crawling to the nearest fortress of solitude for relief more commonly called the “Man Cave.”   Yes ladies “The Man Cave” actually exists and it is a useful tool for both man and woman.  After a long day Man needs to have his time “Alone” to be able to replenish his testosterone levels.  Women need to understand men need their space but we want to talk and share.  That would entail “Invading The Man Cave” How is this good for a woman?  A smart woman would go shopping.

Now let’s talk about women’s happy hormone called “Oxytocin.”    This is the hormone that is produced when a women is happy, stress free and content.  There are quite a few stress busters a woman can use to raise her levels.  The list is actually very long and includes relaxation exercises, bubble bath, hanging out friends, talking, talking, talking.  Did I mention Talking?  For women, sharing is a natural stress reducer.

It’s the difference between how men and women manage stress is what we are addressing.     Men deal with stress by shutting down and women deal with stress by sharing.  Two totally opposite ends of the spectrum.  It’s a wonder we get together long enough to procreate.   Knowing this men and women need to give each other their private space and not bombard their spouse right at the front door after work.

The next point I’d like to make is the hormone killer called “Cortisol.”   Cortisol is more commonly called the fight or flight hormone.  Back when we were still cavemen (some of us still are) and were being chase by a mammoth, this is the hormone that gave us that burst of energy that made us run faster.   Well I don’t need to tell you being chased by mammoth would have been highly stressful.  Well ok we know mammoths are extinct but we do have mammoth size stress to handle.  Country is in financial crisis, foreclosures, unemployment at an all time high are all stressful things.   This constant exposure to stress keeps us in a continuous “Fight of Flight” mode thus our body’s Cortisol I.V. drip is on wide open.

The yucky side effect of Cortisol is weight gain, especially around the waist line.  When a man is under stress, his testosterone goes down and Cortisol goes up.   When a woman is stressed, her Oxytocin goes down but her Cortisol goes twice as high as a man’s. ( Where’s the justice in that?)  As a woman learns to reduce her stress level, her Oxytocin will rise and naturally blend with  fat cells, that all women have, and give her extra energy she didn’t know she had.

The long and short is regardless of whether you are 20 or 80 you should, not only, know how to handle stress in your own life but understand how the opposite sex handles stress.   Men!  Don’t panic! It’s not complicated.  It’s as simple as a hug, a touch, a compliment.   Woman when a man goes into his man cave, DO NOT sit and wait for him to come out.  Take that opportunity to work on your oxytocin…GO SHOPPING!

Dolores Baltierra

Mar Venus Coaching

When In Doubt, Mars Venus says Write it down

This is not a Calendar

This is not a Calendar

It’s amazing what a little organization can do to alleviate stress. Mars Venus teaches this is so many facets of life no matter what the application.

Many decades ago when I was much much younger, I didn’t know anything about organization.  Franklin Covey wasn’t in my vocabulary just yet and neither was Mars Venus.  What I did have was a boyfriend, and still to this very day a good friend, named David that noticed that sometimes I was stressed about my daily schedule. Naturally between college, work and a relationship, I was pretty busy.   He would often ask me what I had to do that day.  My eyes would kind of glaze over and I would glance through my imaginary calendar (We all have one, it’s written in thin air) and pull everything out of sequence.  “TADA!  There is it!  My schedule” I would say with pride.  David would look at me and tell me three simple little words that would change my life.  “Write it Down.”  He’d continue, “When everything is rolling around in your head, you waste time going from one point to another and you will always forget something.”   God Bless David.  Many years later I still hear your voice telling me “Write It Down.”  Kind of annoying really but I understand it more now than ever before.

Mars Venus Stresses (pardon the pun) the importance of organization as a tool to avoid stress.  Use a calendar, any calendar whether it is Franklin Covey®, Day Runner® or the frivolous chachkie you got from your insurance agent.  Every hour of every day should be plotted out in advance.  This will not only avoid over booking but it will avoid hurt feelings as well.  Just think of it.  You have an appointment written in your head, not a good place, and then a niece wants to spend time with you. Of course you say “yes” not thinking about your “head” schedule.  Now what do you do?  You Stress!   You have just put yourself in the situation where someone is going to be hurt. And you only have yourself to blame.  Business is business. If you miss an appointment, you lose a potential client plus any referrals.  That translates to dollars and cents and ultimately loss of income.   Your calendar is should not be floating around in air.

Once you have established a schedule, you should then take 15 minutes at the beginning of the week to review the week and 15 minutes every morning to review and prioritize your day.  This will refresh your memory as to what you have planned for that week thus eliminating the stress factor.

We have enough stress in our lives without adding to it by relying on our memory.  If you deal with your appointments and the more important items on your calendar you can work in the less important items in as the day progresses.  Some items may have to be moved to the next day but at least you know where you stand at every turn.  Just remember not to take on more than you can handle.  No one has super powers.  Allow yourself ample time in between appointments and/or errands.

Keeping in mind, there are only so many hours in a day.  You have to schedule the most important time every day.  That’s “Me” time.  It’s been a long day and you deserve it.

Dolores Baltierra

Mars Venus Coaching




Mars Venus raises the Martians Productivity

I'm replenishing my testosterone

I’m replenishing my testosterone

One of the most often cited reasons why people seek out coaching is to become more efficient with their time management.  Outcomes from the 2010 ICF Global Consumer Awareness Study, show more than two-fifths (42.6 percent) of coaching clients choose “optimize individual and/or team performance” as their motivation for being coached,  followed by “expand professional career opportunities” at 38.8 percent and “improve business management strategies” at 36.1 percent. Mars Venus asks, as a male do you find yourself worn out at the end of the day? Even though you are now working longer hours, do you think you are as productive? At Mars Venus, we teach train two ways to combat unproductiveness: (1) replenish testosterone stores daily and (2) clearly defined SMART goals.

Do you remember when you were more productive? Do you think it has to do with having more energy and focus? You may recall being more productive when you were younger or when you were well-rested—like after a holiday weekend or after doing something with your male friends. This is because you topped off your stores of testosterone. In a relaxed state you are more productive, because your focus is better.

There are physiological reasons for why you are more productive when you spend time resting and relaxing. For males your stress-reducing hormone is testosterone. For women it is oxytocin. This is partly why asking your girlfriend, mom, wife, sister, or female co-worker to relax, sit down and rest, forget about it, or do something different may be met by resistance on their part. These kinds of activities are not stress-reducing for women if they have many things to do. However, for men when you shift gears to easier tasks such as:

  • reading an article,
  • checking sports scores,
  • watching a TV show,
  • surfing the internet, or
  • just sitting and doing nothing,
  • forgetting the problem for awhile, or
  • taking a nap

What you are doing when you are doing these activities is replenishing your testosterone stores. If you ask a woman to do the same thing it can have the opposite effect and increase her stress. You can learn more about this by attending one of our Mars Venus Coaches seminars or taking an eWorkshop if you’re really crunched for time. Your relationships will improve at work and at home. And, when males anticipate coming home to a successful relationship…it’s a testosterone producer! So what does replenishing testosterone daily have to do with productivity?

Mar Venus realizes that for men it takes longer to replenish testosterone stores on a daily basis, and if you’re productivity is suffering, it may be due in part to not taking enough time EVERY day replenishing your testosterone. If you felt more productive when you were younger, it’s because you produce less testosterone as you age. I’m sure someone is reading this and thinking, “great, but the bottom line is I have more responsibilities, and the pressures on me to perform. I don’t have time to take time to sit and do nothing.” When we experience chronic stress in our lives, then there is excess cortisol (this as well as adrenaline are the stress-producing hormones) in your body which inhibits testosterone production.

The way you attack being more productive then gets into creating SMART goals. Your goals professionally and personally need to be:





T—Time Bound

Once you sit down, write out, and create your SMART goals, complete them when you say you will, and work on them every day. If you are doing things that are not a part of your goals, then you must choose to keep doing them or not. By writing and following through on your goals you learn how to prioritize and manage your time. If you don’t know where to start or what’s important, then this is when coaching may help you gain clarity and accountability to follow through on your intentions.

The way you make sure that you stay productive is to incorporate down time as part of your SMART goals every day so you ensure time to replenish testosterone throughout the day, especially on the busy jam-packed days. Make sure you have an objective person hold you accountable to your goals so you don’t slack off on what’s really important to you. Not only will you be more productive, you will be more successful and satisfied with the quality of your life.

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd

Mars Venus Coaching

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